Pain, if your memory usage or CPU usage is maxed out, you may need to upgrade or shut down one of your servers. It is also possible that you are misreading the memory usage graph, as that is a common mistake. This does not sound like the same problem as MyOdessa is seeing, unless MyOdessa is also maxing CPU and memory.
For anyone seeing an individual problem, either personal to their client or specific to their server, opening a support request is best. This forum is mainly useful for overall concerns about the game. We can't look at your individual routing or server for you to delve further when you post here.
If you saw the server dump its players and have performance problems at the same time, it is likely that you were under attack, and we would be able to see that in your network graph and traffic. We talk about the many factors that can cause player drops here: viewtopic.php?f=70&t=6497